OK.  I am officially frustrated.  While I never like to vent (well, publicly anyway) about the difficulties in my life, I am truly at my wit’s end.

In many ways, I think I have been transported to a world that exists in parallel to the world I knew.  In this new world, people interact in almost the same way, but the rules of communication are unknown to me. If only it were as clear as the “good” Willow and the “evil” Willow of the Wishverse.  There, you could tell you were somewhere that you weren’t supposed to be.  It was a dark Sunnydale.  However, where I am, things look the same. People respond the way I would expect. Interaction can happen.  But, there is a difference and maybe only I can tell.

In this strange world I find myself in, I communicate issues and difficulties until my eyes bleed and my tongue swells.  And, I get responses.  “I understand” and “This is how we can move forward past these difficult times” and even “OK, what you are saying makes sense and I like your suggestions for what needs to happen.”  And then, all of a sudden, nothing.  It’s as if the Conversations of Decision Making never took place.

If I was to make an analogy, it would be like I am Frodo volunteering to take the One Ring to Mordor with the blessing and promise of companionship from the Elves, the Humans the Dwarves and one Grey Wizard. A Fellowship is created.  And then, the next morning, no one has a clue that the meeting even took place.  So, I’m left sitting there, with a damned ring on one finger and no Fellowship to go to Mordor with.  Of course, one could argue that I should just get off my fat ass and get moving anyway, but without a guide and protection, I’m doomed to failure.

So, I think I’m in the dreaded Wishverse but I can’t be positive.  Up might be down and right might be left – there are just no good clues anymore.  The rational part of my brain says that I need to adapt to this new, non-communicative world and figure out a way to be heard.  But the years of conditioning that has shaped how to communicate with another is fighting hard to be the One True Path of communication.  It seems I’m not adaptable in this respect.

If I could just find out if I had transported to an alternate reality, then I think I’d feel better. At least then, I’d know I’m not insane.  It’s the not knowing that’s bugging me.