What do we really need?

I was just thinking the other day that all the things in my life that I always SWORE that I needed to make life bearable, don’t really have the same weight in my life as they once did.

Working and living in cities like Washington DC and Bangkok allowed me to enjoy the products of the modern world.  High Speed Internet, reasonably priced public transportation (that is mostly reliable), personal care services (massages, hair salons, nail salons and the like), good restaurants and grocery stores, a library, etc.  These are all the things that would make me happy no matter what the conditions of my immediate environment.

I remember one time that my house was flooded for about three days in Bangkok.  It really didn’t faze me much because I could hide in my room and surf the internet.  Also, I could just put on hip waders and find my way to a taxi and see a movie if I needed to get away from the fact there was a foot of water in my house.

However, working and living in Southern Sudan has really made me re-evaluate what is NECESSARY and what is just a ‘perk’.  I have dial-up internet access (sometimes), a lack of mobility that makes me feel like I am in cell in Alcatraz and, often, the lack of food (our company cook only works during the week and on weekends, we have to fend for ourselves — and no transportation), and the unreliability of private taxis (that often get lost on their way or just don’t show up).  It seems that we are capable of living in almost any conditions.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m miserable most of the times, but I just try to keep my head down and get through it always thinking, like a mantra, “it’s only for now… it will be better tomorrow…”  However, just by making it to tomorrow without self-combusting or melting into a pile of goo makes me realize that the creature comforts are just that.  Comforts.  It’s amazingly hard to stop living.

I don’t know if it’s nature or some divine being, but our human bodies and minds are pretty strong and capable of enduring a great many things.  I guess this is why some psychiatrists are so busy — while we can endure a lot; it’s the reverberations that seem to really cause the grief.

I’m reminding myself now of a story I remember reading some eons ago — essentially there was a monk that was being tortured for information alongside a soldier.  After many days, the soldier broke and spilled the required information.  The soldier asked of the monk “how is it that you can endure all this pain and not give in?”.  The reply was simple.  “Since I cannot change the pain, I don’t fight it.  I surrender to it.  Then, it’s power is lessened.”

I hold this truth close to my head and heart.  It’s really the only way I get through the day sometimes -  I surrender to the moment and just let it pass.  If I fight it, I’ll drive myself crazy.  This particular philosphy doesn’t always promote the change of a situation, but it does allow me to get through it.  Sometimes, no matter how much I want to, I just can’t change the way things are.  I have to surrender to it.

Enough of today’s daily ramble.  See you next time.