Someone, stick a fork in me… I think I am done.

Sometimes, life just beats a person down so far that you don’t even remember why you made the decisions you once thought was the right thing to do.  And, I think I am getting to that point.  Every day is a test of patience and endurance.  Most people get the luxury of having this feeling after many years of monotonous life.  However, Juba seems to accelerate that process ten-fold.

I’m starting to see the signs — I’m pissed off at everyone I live/work with, every little set back is becoming a bigger and bigger setback to the point where I have to throw my hands in the air and, really, just cry.

It’s time to get out.  A real plan must be made. I’m tired of being the ‘good trooper’ and being the one that everyone can count on – especially when I am trying to be the person who sacrifices for the greater good and there seems to be no reciprocity.

At one time, I thought that I could make it a couple of years — after all, the money is good and the work was interesting.  Now, the money is still good, but the quality of life is the pits.  The more people that show up, the more needs there are and the more that people seem to want a piece of me.  And, quite frankly, there isn’t that much of me that is left to give.

I’m saving everything I have of myself for someone else — that person is the one that I am living for right now (and he knows who he is).  The exit strategy that is being put in place is all about getting to him and to living a life that I know others are living.  I want a place of my own.  I want to go out to eat.  I’m tired of explaining how to use cell phones in the worst communications place on the planet.  And, I’m tired of having only one quality hour of internet a day.

I’m at the end of the proverbial rope.  My patience is thin.  I’m just plain over it.

Now, it’s just time to do something about it.